ITS NOTHING BUT A BROKEND LUUU>> MYSTIC>>>PFACE>>>>LILLRED>>>LEIGHLEIGH>>>>PATS>>>>KEEPER>>>>>

 I've got so much garbage in my head to even begin to make much if any difference at all about where I'm currently at right now... bleh... i seen a book today it was called something like... 50 strategies to make decisions... I'm gonna buy that book.. I don't mind saying I'm fucking broken...smashed into billions of bitssssss! its not shocking or too scary.. has its moments but.. yea...well.... it just IS! I don't know why I'm going through this or what its about... got faith i will do one day...so...one i did figure out today is health.... health... health..... health.....health...  i have been manic for weeks now on n off...spiking irrationally ....exhausted... depressed.... crazily happy... and I've not lost my temper....still!why have i not??? my moods .... I'm normally down with where there pattern is.... haven't been for a year now.... its uncomfortable... different... haven't quiet yet reached out of control... which is why HEALTH!!!!!!!! all starts with healthy ....... I'm going to be good to myself and get healthy.... again!!!!!  oh and Rhonda's post about her inner voice really resonates with me... and the lady in the woods with a slight scottish accent sounds like me ... laughs peace! Oh and i love my mum.. had a wonderful day with her... mum has a quiet love, i admire her greatly... she is an inspiration to me! this is a very recent revelation to me x oh and tash and robert thank you so much.. i get it!!!!i know you never left me, always there and thank you x and i look forward to working with you more, your guidance is valuable.. respected and considered  x question everything! lol thanks sphere you teach so much and akl words dont seem enough i smile so broadly when i think of all ive learnt frum you i sumtimes feel ive not given enough back... gnite to myself ... rest well ... and be selfish lill red!

sames....

ok ok ok.... repeat button is on where it concerns the ex... ive been very poorly... ive managed to get some time to myself and today i feel so much brighter so far.. so far nobody has rang me or text me so.... im doing good. I really dont know if the new man in my life will cope with me and my time out and quite frankly.... not too bothered either, im either accpeted for the way i am or you know where the door is! i also decided i dont anyone an explanation either i feel these peoples have been around me for long enough n ive talked about myself in a good way i dont need to go on n on... i get it they want to be near me... i dont always want to be near them!