Seriously.... Its NOT True.. Its Great...

Im Laughing... its not true.... i am not unlucky! I know ive got Derrick and the up and coming cutting the crazy fool out my EYE! He is the most hardass cyst ive met to date....and the cheeky twat is costing me my collage funds.... yep the ones ive been saving for a year...The old stuff and the Ectopic and Not finishing collage and such like....ect... i figure it all makes me a better human being... i dont take things for granted...i appreciate all.... i dont assume ANYTHING... so guys give me a break.... can yous not see the huge POSITIVES im experiencing!

Its An Ocean!

Hmmmm ... nah... not going back to the green with envy chat inside my head.... im still aware... been pretty fucked up since my last post and also had some amazingly wonderful enlightening times too x  balance, harmony, peace! there is no blame...its kool...im still moving forward! SAFE!...everything is good. my fears n doubts only hold things up, very limiting... out with them thoughts!.the goal.... To Be Free.

what is it...

Love...? Lust...? lonelyness....? dont know... dont care. im off to therapy just a wee note to remind myself about how envyous some are totally green! its ugly, unpleasant and i dont want no part of it...atall... your top of my avoid at all costs list! i shall come back to this!

its real!

oh for fucks sake.... i walked around the food memorised by the pregnant lady... she was absolutely glowing... 2kids trailing around her.. nice fella... both very well dressed... 30mins later my mum said Leigh please stop it... i said i dont know why i keep looking at them.. she replied... its ok youve lost another baby but quit with the staring!  when we got back in the car //... the one id earlier wrecked ....oopss.. she added its only a car.... babys are real!

lifes a ride

its just a rollercoaster!  i can do this by my self i can i can i can!

Why Do I Do That....

On reflection... it was a massive hole you dug yourself... with me! how very dare you!!!! have you ever had a stranger look through your personal belongings? ... commenting on my underwear left me speechless. Why didnt i say anything..hmmm  maybe because i didnt realise when it was said just how fucking intrusive it is... who knows? wouldnt exactly call myself a pushover, but im sat here wondering if i am?   i been asking myself... why did he let her do that?